So you are at that point in your life when you would like to find a wife. Maybe you’ve already been married once and have decided that you want something different. Maybe you have a friend that’s married a foreigner, or you’re inspired by stories of single men just like you finding love with beautiful exotic women. Have you considered a finding a Ukrainian wife?
In my travels, I have dated women from 3 foreign countries. Sweden, Ukraine, and Colombia. There are things from each culture that I love, and then there are things that just don’t work for me.
Three countries with amazing women
-naturally beautiful women
-almost 100% speak English
-healthy and active culture
-in general very honest
-emotion levels are not extreme
-independent & career driven, get married later
-desire a 50-50 relationship (finances & housework)
-heavy social pressure to live a certain way
-keep emotions to themselves more
I loved the Swedish woman I dated, but there were too many similarities to the women from my home country of Canada. The main similarity of them being independent, career driven and desiring a 50-50 relationship placed pressure on marriage to be more of a financial and convenience decision than I wanted. My mother always told me that it’s impossible for any relationship to be 50-50. You need to give all you can and hope that the other person does the same to have the best chance. The minute you start counting it’s the beginning of the end.
-exotic and very beautiful women
-dance is a big part of their culture
-show emotion more
-family has a higher priority than a career
-old fashioned values
-most don’t speak English
-extreme highs and lows emotionally
-more jealous and non-trusting
-dishonesty can be more common
-lower education level
-highly focused on outer looks
I have dated some Colombian women and consider them as the most passionate creatures on this planet. There are, however, some things that can make a long-term relationship with them very tedious. In general, their jealousy levels are high. I found that if I did not text many times a day that they started to think that I was seeing someone else. Their focus on their outer beauty was also quite extreme. My best friend’s wife is Colombian, and she once told me that women in her country make sure that they are perfect before leaving the house, including shaved legs and waxed privates. They do this for the off chance that they get into an accident and end up unconscious and naked in a hospital emergency room. I think she was exaggerating, but the idea had to originate from some place of truth. A truth that I just could not live with.
-more healthy and active culture
-family has a higher priority than a career
-old fashioned values
-most don’t speak English
-some dishonesty due to economic conditions
-stronger “hard headed” perspective
Of the three types of women, I can say that there is no one type for everyone. I like some things from each, but if one wants a serious relationship they would need to choose one.
From my experience, these three cultures of women all share many things that are universal for women. The majority of them love gifts, chocolates, flowers, jewelry and attention. I have learned this the hard way over 20 years, and five failed relationships that included one marriage. Not that I know and understand everything about women, I realize now that I never really will, but that keeping the basics in check will help in future relationships.
After my most recent trip to Ukraine, I would have to conclude that they are a very special kind of woman. My Hungarian-Romanian sister-in-law partly influenced me to seek out a Ukrainian wife. Out of all my married friends, I can easily say that my brother has found what I think is ideal for a wife. The one “con” of dishonesty was not enough to dissuade me. Not all are dishonest, and I was confident that I could find a fantastic partner.
Let’s start. So you’re curious or have decided that you would like to find a wife in Ukraine. It can be a long, hard and expensive journey, but if you are serious you can find the right woman. Here’s my story.
Finding a Ukrainian Wife Online
Three months before visiting Ukraine I decided to start looking in the easiest place possible, the internet. I found many dating websites and services. Here are the ones I used.
The women on this site all looked like models. It appeared that each woman had professionally shot photos giving it a feel of a catalogue rather than a typical dating site. Even the writing seemed to be scripted, detailing what foreign men would want to read. After locating some suitable women to communicate with, I found that I had to buy credits to send messages. To know if this service could work, I paid for a credit bundle and sent off a few messages. All the women responded with perfectly written messages in English that appeared to be templates. After further communication, I learned that they did not speak English and were using a site translator. They were also not allowed to share their contact information as all communication had to happen on the website. So how could anyone meet? I then learned the business model of this service. They were the mediator that would control and make money on everything from online communication to your first date. They would provide airport shuttles, accommodations, and translators. It may work for some looking for a Ukrainian wife, but was going to be too costly and inorganic a process for me, so I did not take it further than the few messages.
Claiming to be the world’s biggest free dating website. I found there to be little selection for women in Ukraine, and the ones that I found had not been active in months.
By far the best dating website for me. I was able to find Ukrainian women that wanted a serious relationship quickly and easily. The women were responsive, and I found two with which I connected. I opted to pay $10/month to be able to see message receipts and enable other features which I would strongly suggest.
An American that met his Russian wife there referred me to this dating website that specifically connects foreigners with Eastern European women. I paid for a three-month membership for $40. I was able to communicate with some women, but none followed through with meaningful communication that led to a meeting.
The most popular dating phone app. Personally, it did not work well in most of the countries I’ve visited, but before arriving in Ukraine, I paid for their passport membership so I could communicate with matches in the cities I planned to visit. It also provided me with more likes and super likes. I did receive about four times more matches and met one wonderful girl that became a great friend.
So, is it easy to find and connect with Ukrainian women online before arriving in Ukraine? For me, the answer is no. Recent economic conditions have created a muddier environment which includes many fake and real profiles of women, whose only desire is to scam men out of their money. How is one to weed them out? I would start by having reasonable expectations. Understand that it will take some time and effort to find the right person for you. Use logic or a friend’s perspective and keep your emotions at bay. Lastly, you need to enter these waters with one thing in mind. “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.”
Fake profiles of women running a scam
These are usually easy to spot. You will have a profile that has just the basic info entered and a set of photos of a woman that looks like a model. These accounts are quite active and don’t be surprised if you get a message from them before you reach out. They will try to lure you off the site by giving you their email or asking for yours. I would ask for their WhatsApp or Skype and if they were adamant only to communicate via email this would raise a red flag. At this point, I would say there is a 99% chance that the person you are conversing with is not the person in the photos. But what if it is? What about that 1% chance? Could it hurt to send an email?
Ok, so I was curious, and I emailed the first few people that insisted communicating this way. They all responded with messages in perfect English detailing what kind of wife they wanted to be along with some amazing photos. I would have to say that the pictures and communication did hit all the right spots for me. The person that wrote this email had to be a guy. For fun, I continued communicating until about the 3rd or 4th email when they detailed their situation. Their life living in a war-torn country, with no job or money, helping take care of their grandmother or parent. They asked if I could send money. At this point, the scam was coming full circle. I wanted proof that the woman was real and requested that she send me a photo with her holding a piece of paper with my name on it. What came back to my shock was a picture of the girl holding what I had asked. But after careful review, it was clear that the photo had been photoshopped. Her hand, the paper, and even the writing were all dropped in after.
Real profiles of women running a scam
This one is hard to work through. The girl is real. She talks to you on the phone and sends you current photos and video in which she sweetly says your name. How can one tell if she wants a relationship or just your wallet? For me, it became easier after the first experience. I spoke to one young woman every day for two weeks. Everything was great. She was responsive. She said everything that I loved to hear. She had my full attention. And then it came. Her sudden need to pay rent. She was not working and was already behind a month. I asked how much she needed and she said $300. For a moment I thought how easy it would be for me to send this girl the money and fix her problems for a month. I stepped outside of emotion for a moment and began asking some good questions. Would sending the money fix anything? And how many other men is she talking to right now asking the same from them? These two questions made me come up with a solution to see what her real intentions were. I asked if she wanted a job. I was about to donate money to an orphanage in her city and could instead pay her to volunteer there. This way I could help her and the orphans at the same time. She seemed interested in the idea but then started asking what kind of work it would be. She said that she did not like children and would not clean toilets. The truth may have been that she needed a job, but the burn of not having money for rent was not enough for her to take just any job. I was able to weed her out with an offer of work and she never asked me for money again.
It is hard not to build up your hopes on a dream based on a profile, photos, and little communication. It can cover up the apparent fact that the woman does not exist or has intention different from your own. I did, however, come across one account where I thought the woman was not real, and eventually spoke to her on the phone after exchanging a few emails. She just did not like sharing her number with everyone she met online. It is possible, but be prepared for the reality that there are many fake accounts and real women only looking for money and not love.
Communication with the potential women
After a month I narrowed things down to two Ukrainian women that I believed had the desire for a serious relationship. At this point, I began to make plans to visit Ukraine to meet them. The communication by chat was choppy, and I soon found that it was due to the poor cellular data service in Ukraine. Before my trip, one of these women asked for money when her grandmother was in the hospital. She wanted to stay with her rather than work. I believed it to be a real story but could not send money to someone that I just met online and never in person. She was quite mad when I said “no”, but after a day she continued speaking with me. Maybe she found someone else to help her? I will never know.
Experience in Ukraine
So I landed in Ukraine and had two women that I planned to meet. From my research, I found that there would be an expectation for me to pay for meals, drinks, and taxi fares. It also was a good idea to bring a gift with flowers on the first date. With the depressed economy of Ukraine, it was quite easy to take care of all of this for under $30.
The first woman was in her mid-30s and taught English to Ukrainians. Her English was perfect, so she was able to understand everything I said. After a few dates, she asked for money to pay for school. She was short $100. It was something that I had no problem doing, but I requested that I pay the school directly. She expressed her embarrassment and wanted me to give her the money so she could pay the bill. I had just met her and could not tell whether she was telling the truth. In the end, she let me do it the way I needed and was grateful. After a few weeks of getting to know her, I realized that our personalities were very different. Her speed of thought and movement was much faster than mine. I felt an uneasiness, worry, and rush when I was with her. An amazingly beautiful woman that most men would love to be with, but for me, the personality differences kept us as friends.
I then went on to meet the second woman that I had met online. She was younger, in her mid-20s, and it was noticeable in her communication. She avoided meeting me the first week I was in her city because of fear. I had more in common with her and was pleasantly surprised upon meeting her. From all our online communication, she was exactly as I had envisioned. It was here that truths started coming out as it was easier to communicate and get answers from her in person. I quickly found out that she lied about her age. It is very common for younger women to say that they’re older than they are. They too want to attract the stable, experienced, older men. At 24 she was already quite young for me so one could imagine my reaction when she admitted that she was only 18! How could this be? She looked like she was in her mid-20s, was very mature and handled things like someone in their 30s. One question popped into my mind. Was there any possible way I could wade out the number of changes she would go through over the next ten years? Even with her maturity, it would take a lot of patience. I continued to see her for two weeks and left Ukraine with this possibility as a big question mark.
While in Ukraine I also met many other women on the street and at bars. Going out by myself forced me to meet new people, and it was much easier than my online experience. All of the women I met were amazing and are now good friends that provide me with a Ukrainian perspective whenever I need it.
Through all the lies, I never once felt deceived. It was up to me to find the truth, and in some cases, I would never be able to know what the truth was. You need to understand why you are being lied to first. For me, it was never personal. I was a foreigner and foreigners have been going to Ukraine with their strong currencies looking for beautiful, young women creating this environment of opposing expectation. It was not the fault of the women alone. Foreigners were to blame just as much if not more.
So from my experience here are the most important pieces of advice I can give anyone thinking about going to meet a woman in Ukraine:
Choose someone that speaks your native language
When you want to date someone of a different culture, I would say that finding a woman that speaks your language is a must. Talk to them on the phone, so you can gauge how well they understand the language. I found that even with women that spoke fluent English there was constant miscommunication. I recently heard a story from a Ukrainian translator. She was working with a couple that was married for a year. The wife still could not speak much English, and things were coming out that shocked both parties. So many things that were misunderstood between two people living together for such an extended period.
If you do decide to date someone that does not speak your native language, then I would strongly suggest using an independent translator of your choosing.
Never send money to someone you have not met
Don’t give money to a woman you just met unless it’s taxi fare
Giving money to someone you don’t know will not help them. It’s like throwing money into a fire that will need more money tomorrow to keep going. If you want to help, money is the last thing you should give when you are still getting to know a person. They may prey on your empathy by hitting you up with something immediate and life threatening like a health problem a family member has. If you believe there to be a valid emergency, then maybe your help could save a life. If it is an investment that will lead to self-sufficiency, like further education, then maybe your money will be put to good use. Use your voice of reason and ask yourself. Are you really helping? If your desire is still there, then go ahead, but in all cases, verify the need and pay for it directly. Be careful because you will set a precedent. A new crisis or need may arise every day after that and to go back to saying “no” will create more resistance than before. In the end, it’s up to you and what you feel is right.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
If you met the woman online, always meet her for the first time in a public place. There are higher level scams to mug or kidnap foreigners that use women as bait. Not that this is often happening, but one Ukrainian woman I met online warned me that it was possible in areas of Ukraine affected by war.
Keep a positive open attitude with no expectation. Try not to be compulsive and think things through. Remember to have fun. It’s a life experience, and even if it does not work out the way you want, you will be better in some way from it.
I still communicate with the younger woman I met online. She still expresses a desire for something serious, and it’s hard just to shut her out. As of recent, it appears that things will naturally take care of themselves. I mentioned that I would return to Ukraine and she became hostile and expressed that I did not care for or have any desire to help her. I did express care and ideas of how she could find better work. So how could she say this? It was at that moment that I realized that even though her English is good, she could not read very well. Almost everything I wrote had to be translated, and the full meaning was not always conveyed. It started to make sense why her chat communication was so slow and weak and why she was feeling this way. I asked her to call me, and I have not heard from her since. Maybe she found someone else. Maybe she’s playing on my emotion to see what I will do. Maybe she’s no longer interested. Whatever it may be, I’m okay with it.
After this one experience, I do believe that it is possible to find a Ukrainian wife. It just requires the right mindset, perspective, and a little patience, as with most things in life. I may not have found the right woman yet, but I believe that she’s out there and will not give up.